


Pimps Don't Cry

by theladymia



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Peter is a child, and the galaxy desperately needs them to stop making bets and save their asses, thor is self-assured
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 12:31:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17683487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theladymia/pseuds/theladymia
Summary: Peter's been in his room for a hot minute, and Thor wants to check up on him.





	Pimps Don't Cry

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by an imagine your otp and a role play i did with my friend. if you wanna see the otp thing i got this from then message me on tumblr at theladymia

Thor always thought people were being dramatic when they talked about the size of the universe. He'd downloaded a few social media apps recently (and thought @godothunder wasn't a complete giveaway of his identity), and when he came across an "inspirational instagram" account, he had scrolled for hours, hyping himself up on basic Earthly sayings. Until he came across a photo of some galaxy, with bold text printed in its center saying: "The universe is so big. It won't care if you make a mistake." Ha! Unless you make a mistake of universal size...  
Thor didn't like talking to himself like that. He did it so often, though. Some other high Asgardians had poked fun about it, that he "spoke to himself as if his audience were anything but nonexistent." It was his only way of getting people's attention back. He didn't like to feel unworshipped, alone. That's why he joined the Guardians after he reversed he snap.  
After he'd finished grieving over the loss of many heroes, he realized that reversing the snap would be the last thing that had a chance at saving the Avengers. It wasn't a divorce, where Steve took the kids and Tony took the house; it was a civil war between Earth's mightiest heroes, and humanity's last salvation. Only saving half of the galaxy's population would bring the gang back together. He was wrong.  
After the reversal, Clint stuck to his promise and stayed in hiding, and Natasha thought it wasn't such a bad idea. Wanda ran the moment she came back and Vision didn't. Pepper had convinced Tony that his "heart" problems can't handle another battle, and so he went back into making weapons alongside Bruce, while Steve and Bucky ran off to start another fight somewhere far away. Thor didn't know the fate of Parker, but he assumed he was continuing his schooling. Wakanda had put full force back into their worldwide charity project.  
The Guardians, however, they couldn't have cared more about the universe's continued problems. So after Rocket got his co-pilot and crew (for the most part-- they'd lost their best assassin for good) back, they took off in the direction of the stars. Thor related to them and respected them, and joined them.

Today was a rest day. The Guardians and Thor has just finished defeating a monster resembling a squid made of steel whose goal was twice Thanos'; however, Thor was the only one who was really resting.  
Before he joined the Guardians, he fought among heroes of equal strength, and enemies of even greater power. However, alongside this crew, fighting beasts for bounties and answering strange distress calls in an unspoken demand for payment led Thor to the easiest battles he'd fought since his training as a child. The Guardians' new role were to assist the God of Thunder in his battles when he needed to use more than his brain. Luckily, that didn't happen much.

So, on a day like today, Peter was doing nothing. He had nothing to heal from, so he'd put on a movie that Thor told him about called My Girl. Thor had challenged him, saying that there was no way Peter wouldn't cry watching it. Peter guffawed, puffed up his chest, jabbed a finger at Thor, and accepted the challenge before marching into his room. Peter had lost that challenge.  
"Ha! Until you make a mistake of universal size..." Thor realized he was speaking out loud to himself again, and he'd had it. He followed Peter's footsteps, and marched into his bedroom. He came across a dark, cold room, lit by a single source which Peter planted himself in front of, wrapped in a blanket. Only his face was exposed that night, and it was plenty easy to see the evidence of Peter's loss in their bet dripping down his cheeks.  
"Are you crying, Peter?" Thor mused, ready to discuss the prizes of their now-due contract.  
"Pimps don't cry..." Peter pouted from the foot of his bed.  
"Oh, this is delicious..." Thor begins to approach Peter with his godly, look-at-me posture. Peter cuts his path off by launching up and out of his blanket, with a finger already pointed.  
"If you tell anyone about this, I'll wear your entrails like a damn scarf!" He yells in his angry drawl, already admitting his loss.  
Thor, with brows raised, suggested "If you could even tear me open, yes."  
Peter exhaled loudly through his nostrils and lowered his finger. He directs his chest parallel to Thor's, and looks up at him from angry eyes lidded by drawn brows. "You seem to forget that I am a god."  
"Lowercase g," he fires back.  
"Oh, right, I forgot, you always have to prove yourself as the alpha!" As Thor started to turn away, he chases. "Because your brain isn't good enough to stand alone! You have to show everyone how manly you are!"  
Thor stops, and turns, revealing his still-unbothered expression. "What's that phrase you humans use? 'I'm half the man you are?'"  
Peter stutters. "Y-Yeah! Exactly! You're perfectly right!" He says, confident in his ironic response.  
"Mm." Thor takes his leave, more than happy with his fill of human interaction for the day.


End file.
